Blonde Bombshell

and all the roads we have to walk are winding. and all the lights that lead the way are blinding. there are many things that i would like to say to you but i don't know how.

 I got an e-mail about three weeks ago from the ex-fiancé. At first it was some small talk, which was weird considering the last e-mail I had received from him was distant and unfriendly. I was cordial of course; I had been since the breakup and wasn’t going to change that. He asked if I wanted to get dinner sometime to catch up. I was caught completely off guard by it and was hesitant to respond. I played out about a million different scenarios in my head as to what he wanted. I gave it about a week to contemplate. At first, I wasn’t going to go. I felt like that door in my life had been closed and I had moved on and was in such a different place in my life. But after further consideration I agreed to it. In my heart I felt that I needed to go, to make sure that I really had moved on from him emotionally. I was so nervous on the drive to the restaurant. Partly because I thought he was going to attempt a murder (I know I’m totally not dramatic) but mostly just because I was afraid that all those old feelings were going to come back. What if all this time we have had apart meant nothing and I would go right back to the exact same place I was in before our breakup. But, it was a risk I was willing to take. I wanted full closure and to KNOW that I had moved on.

i don't care if we don't sleep at all tonight, let's just fix this whole thing now. i swear to god we're gonna get it right if you lay your weapon down.

 I read this today and immediately wanted to repost it.. think there is a very honest and pure truth to this. I added a link to the full article at the bottom of this post. Enjoy the read :)

"Relationships aren't a lock. Instead, they're a curious evolution, a live animal, a partnership. You feed it and it feeds you back. The fascinating thing about a good relationship is that it's work. It's not work to love the other person, it's work to show it. It's work to check yourself and your ego before you wreck, well, everything. It's work to unload your baggage. It's work to realize that at home you don't have to perform and win the way you might in your career; you're simply somebody's teammate and buddy -- your job is to help the team win. It's work to see when your buddy needs your help, when they're in pain, when they need attention. It's work to acknowledge that it's not all about you. 

Real power, to me, is the ability to give more than you require. And it doesn't matter how saucy and sassy you are out in the world if you can't get real when nobody's watching, or grow and learn from a partner. Frankly, it's easy to stamp your foot and say, "This is who I AM! If somebody wants in on this they just need to DEAL with it!" That's not powerful; it's stubborn, lazy, self-centered. And probably lonely. 

I live with someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with. He does not blindly worship me, and I don't in return. We simply love each other. We're friends with each other. We hold hands through the easy-breezy days and hug through the rough ones. We talk through the fights. We let go of grudges. We keep each other safe. We listen, we talk. We check in every day. We take care of each other so that we can take on another day in this insane, confusing world. We don't stop being individuals to be an "us," but we take care of the "us" and in turn, become stronger and better individuals."

Click here for the full article.

he's soft to the touch but frayed at the ends he breaks. he's never enough and still he's more than i can take. oh and i don't know, i don't know what he's after, but he's so beautiful, he's such a beautiful disaster.

 

"Perhaps love is the process of my leading you gently back to yourself. Not whom I want you to be, but to who you are."

....And if I can hold on through the tears and the laughter. Would it be beautiful or just a beautiful disaster?

and we won't stop until it's over. won't stop to surrender.

I absolutely love this song. Enjoy :)